I waited for month until “Silence” came to Poland, so I ran to see it as soon as it was possible. I got exactly what I expected: a lot of unanswered questions. I saw something deeper than my attempt to search for the right way. I saw that sometimes there simply is no answer, because it is known only to God. Once again I saw the value of discernment and radically following the Holy Spirit. He has a different path for each one of us, sometimes radically different from the one we would consider to be correct. This has two consequences – thinking that I know what is right leads to pride, and judging other people’s choices does not lead to good. However, this requires such a close relationship with God, that you are able to hear His voice in the slightest shake.
Surprisingly, something else became important to me – the image of Christ appearing repeatedly in the film – the face of Jesus from Veronica’s veil painted by El Greco. This artist was of much importance to me on the way of my vocation, and it was his painting that appeared on the pictures from my first vows. A small sign from God just for me. In the cinema we met two Jesuit friends and two of my former students (now high school students). To each of them, God definitely spoke differently through the film, but He certainly spoke. You cannot be indifferent to the questions posed.
The viewer is given many dilemmas about faith, doubt, denial of God. Many thoughts I have not yet gathered, and I know that this experience will be working in me for the next weeks. Of equal importance, however, might be the circumstances of making the film for over 20 years. The way it worked in the heart of Martin Scorsese, the way it transformed Andrew Garfield, and how it will change the world of the people who see it. With growing curiosity I am now reading interviews about “Silence” and articles about Christianity in Japan, because this is the story of God working today in the midst of His people.
The Christian life is something much more than saying that I believe in the existence of one God, Creator of the universe. It’s even more than the confidence that He is good and devoting my life to Him. Faith is the acceptance of a way, which can be very confusing and surprising, but always leads to Love.